Monday, June 18, 2012

It seemed like a "normal" Saturday night at the jail...

I picked up a shift early at the jail on Saturday. I was in booking. It was slow and seemed like it was going to be a nice 'easy' shift but as a Corrections Officer I must expect the unexpected.

I got a phone call from my Sgt. that the female who was on second floor who was 5 months pregnant and with drawling from Heroin needed to go to the hospital.

Now my husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 2 years now. In the back of my mind I I the best person to go along? But it didn't matter, I had to put my feelings aside.

I took the female to the hospital who was experiencing cramping and spotting. She had taken heroin 2 days before she came to the jail and was going through withdrawal. She knew she was 5 months along but said she couldn't stop because she was addicted.

Not once had she been to see a Dr. while being pregnant. She didn't know what she was having. The Dr. ran tests and did blood draws on her. They also wanted to do a ultrasound on the baby. The babies heart beat was perfect. She wasn't having any contractions.

I asked her if she knew the sex of her baby and she said no. We were about to find out. I could anticipation in my stomach as we were about to find out. I was excited for her. She was going to have a baby girl! Her reaction when she found out was 'cool'. I could feel tears forming in the back of my eyes. 5 fingers, 5 toes, spine was good. I needed to gain control of myself. I kept thinking to myself, why aren't you excited? You did this to your body and yet somehow through the grace of God your baby is ok!

She asked if her baby was going to go through withdrawal, the ultrasound tech said they weren't sure until her baby was actually born but that she should stop all extra curricular activities...

We then left and headed back to the jail. When we got back I had to run to the bathroom and cry. I don't understand....why can she conceive and not care and my husband and I pay thousand and thousand of dollars for a child?

It's ok though, we will have a child some day. It will happen. I refuse to give up hope.


  1. I ask this question all the time! I am sorry my dear but just know that God has his reasons. :)


  2. I can't believe she didn't even care! Ugh!
    It will happen for you someday!

  3. Ugh I would break down too! How can you not care about a blessing such as a child. It makes me so upset that there are people out there that can just get pregnant and not care. My husband and I were having a conversation about this just last night.

  4. I'm so sorry, sweetie! I completely understand. I hope your turn for a baby comes really soon.

  5. I could not imagine having had to do that. You are so brave for doing that even if you broke down because I would have too. It's never fair that there are people who are so desperate to have a baby and can't for some reason and then there are people like this girl. I hope your day comes soon! <3

  6. Aww, I'm so sorry Katie. :( This must've been so hard.
    I really hope that you and your partner are blessed with a baby soon.


  7. Oh Katie. You know how much I love you. And how confident I am you are going to have your own miracle and be a much better mother than anyone could be.